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Just Posted

Butt cheeks

Posted by: omgitsbleigh | Category: Age 5

My 5 year old was taking a shower one night. From the living room, I hear a frantic "Mom! Mommy! Come here! Quick!" So, naturally I drop everything and run into the bathroom and rip open the curtains....

Dolphins

Posted by: Rachael | Category: Age 2

While driving home with my daughters, my 2 year old starts asking why the neighbors took down there light up frosty the snowman. I told her winter is over so now we get ready for summer, so we can go ...

Color the WHOLE world

Posted by: sarahkhill0703 | Category: Age 3

It was a typical bedtime routine night. Bath, jammies, and teeth brushing. My son Caleb asked me if he could go downstairs to get his favorite blanket. "Sure" I said and continued to turn down the hou...

Obama at Walmart

Posted by: jullyd | Category: Age 2

My 2 year old was standing next to daddy who was watching a news report on TV. My husband pointed to the screen and said: "Look Julian, that's Obama, the US president. A few days later while shopping ...

My 2 year old trying to sing where is th...

Posted by: Jared213 | Category: Age 2

[tube]OC1KjzWKNSQ[/tube] Comes out sounding not quite right, but pretty funny. ...

Wear your helmet

Posted by: autumnleaf72 | Category: Age 4

My 4-year-old daughter Allie asked if she could go outside and ride her bicycle. I said, "Remember to wear your helmet." Allie looked at me seriously and ernestly and replied, "It sometimes works with...

Just turned 2

Posted by: scrosby | Category: Age 2

My son just turned two last month and over the last few days has really started to voice his opinion about things. Last night I told him it was time to eat dinner. His response was I don't want to hav...

Mean Nana

Posted by: brandilinnperry | Category: Age 5

About a week ago I was babysitting my friend's five year old daughter. Her older brother was getting ready to go spend the night at his grandma's and later on she was going to be spending the night at...

Mommy Can’t Dance

Posted by: brandilinnperry | Category: Age 3

My three year old son and I were playing with a Dora mermaid doll with a seashell that plays a song when you press it. When the song started playing I began dancing around and told him to dance with m...

Funny Necks

Posted by: anjipie | Category: Age 5

"mom, you always play with me when there are no kids at the park" yes, I do. "so you will if no one is there this time?" of course "Cause your not old" Well I am not THAT old! "yeah, cause old p...

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Most Views

The Birthday Present

Posted by: Steven Yo | Category: Age 5

Dad: "What does Thomas want for his birthday?" Jennifer: "Well, he likes most anything with rainbows on it. And he like tutus."...

402285 total views, 73 so far today

Mmm. Tree Bark.

Posted by: 247Mom | Category: Age 4

"If mommy spends all of our money, we'll have to live in the street and eat tree bark."...

402258 total views, 71 so far today

Pooped!

Posted by: JenniO | Category: Age 3

After chasing our dog around the house for 10 minutes. Bailey, who is 5: I'm Pooped! Alexis, who is 3: I'm Peepeed!...

402234 total views, 71 so far today

Broken dogs?

Posted by: Rob M. | Category: Age 5

As we were leaving to go shopping one day, we saw a male Labrador Retriever in our front yard. My said, "What a pretty Lab." I replied, "Yeah, but he's not fixed.". My five-year-old said from the back...

402208 total views, 71 so far today

Tecksticular

Posted by: jokeranker | Category: Age 3, Age 5

3 Year Old Daughter: "Daddy Looks tecksticular!" Me: "Daddy looks TESTICULAR???" 5ย Year Old Daughter: "I think she was trying to say spectacular."...

400562 total views, 71 so far today

I’m Old

Posted by: FritoBandito | Category: Age 5

In the car on the way to get donuts on Sunday morning my 5 year old said to me -ย If you forgot your iPod, then how are we listening to music right now?...

400272 total views, 72 so far today

Salty

Posted by: Highlands | Category: Age 6

Mommy: "Why do you keep licking me?" My Daughter: "You taste salty."...

400152 total views, 72 so far today

Unholy Moly

Posted by: ConnorsDad | Category: Age 5

At bedtime my 5 year old boy asks "Daddy, does the Devil look like a mole?" My answer, after moles have lived in our backyard for several years, was a resounding "YES!"...

399901 total views, 71 so far today

Big Buns

Posted by: momuvtwins | Category: Age 4

I patted my four year old twin's bottom and said "Your buns are so little" She patted my buns and said "Momma has BIG buns!" ...

399700 total views, 71 so far today

Then Stop

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 4

Gabriella: My hand tastes like mud. Blech! Daddy: Then stop licking it....

399463 total views, 71 so far today
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Ten Randoms

Easter Bunny

Posted by: mommyof3 | Category: Unknown Age

easter eggs come from the easter bunnies butt...

Ice Cream Poop

Posted by: missmandy2868 | Category: Age 2

My 2 and a half year old declared Hershey's Kisses were "ice cream poops".....

Just turned 2

Posted by: scrosby | Category: Age 2

My son just turned two last month and over the last few days has really started to voice his opinion about things. Last night I told him it was time to eat dinner. His response was I don't want to hav...

Salty

Posted by: Highlands | Category: Age 6

Mommy: "Why do you keep licking me?" My Daughter: "You taste salty."...

Mommy Can’t Dance

Posted by: brandilinnperry | Category: Age 3

My three year old son and I were playing with a Dora mermaid doll with a seashell that plays a song when you press it. When the song started playing I began dancing around and told him to dance with m...

Funny Necks

Posted by: anjipie | Category: Age 5

"mom, you always play with me when there are no kids at the park" yes, I do. "so you will if no one is there this time?" of course "Cause your not old" Well I am not THAT old! "yeah, cause old p...

Big Buns

Posted by: momuvtwins | Category: Age 4

I patted my four year old twin's bottom and said "Your buns are so little" She patted my buns and said "Momma has BIG buns!" ...

Trash

Posted by: mommyof3 | Category: Unknown Age

while holding my hand juni said "gotta take out the trash." and asked her about the trash, and she said it was me!...

Mmm. Tree Bark.

Posted by: 247Mom | Category: Age 4

"If mommy spends all of our money, we'll have to live in the street and eat tree bark."...

Tattling

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 3

My 3 year old, tattling on her sister: "She's saying stinky words...ย  like Stinky!"...

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Welcome to Funny Things My Kid Said

Read. Write. Share. Laugh.

Having kids is one of the most awesome experiences in life. Some of the things they say will either having you rolling on the floor, blushing with embarrassment, or biting your tongue. This is the place to share your stories or quotes.